Posts Tagged ‘rsd’

Things have changed

When I started this blog, my intention was to share my love of baking with all of you, and throw in some “treats” about my family. Oh, and share a little about my struggle with depression. Thus the name, “shar A treat”. (also a play off my name :D)

Little did I know that a few short months after starting this blog that my life was about to be turned upside down.

Little did I know that I would be diagnosed with a chronic pain condition and that everything I knew about my life was to be forever different.

I’ve struggled the last week or more about what to write….this disease is crippling. You know when God talked about hell being like wailing and gnashing of teeth….I’m pretty sure He was talking about RSD. After doing some more research on RSD, I found this pain scale:

Did you see what’s at the very top?  RSD.  Yep…it’s the highest on the pain scale. More than childbirth. More than cancer pain. More than a broken bone.

So, I haven’t written anything. I’ve been silent. I mean, I haven’t been baking or cooking because I can only stand for a few minutes at a time before my foot turns completely red and swollen. And if I’m not baking, then I’ve got nothing to share.  Right?!

So, I’ve been doing a lot of praying. Asking God a lot of questions. Questions like…

Why me?
Why is this happening to my family?
Doesn’t Mike have enough to handle?
Would life for my family be better without me? Then they wouldn’t have to take care of me or worry about me.

And after a lot of these questions to God and lots of tears, I began to hear God’s still small voice.

You do have something to share.

Not what you had originally planned, but I’ve got something more.

It’s not about you.

It’s about Me.

So, I’m back.  I’m sorry that it won’t be about cooking or baking.  I know I’ll probably lose some of you because of changing my theme about baking, but that’s okay.  From here on out, this blog will be about the struggle I have with RSD, the pain and frustration it causes our family, but the hope that there is Something bigger.  That God is bigger.  That He is my Hope.

Welcome to shar A hope


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New Therapies

I’ve been at all time lows this week, but I’m trying out a couple of new kinds of therapy. The first one is called a TENS device (Transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation). The second is my new doggie, Gracie. She loves to snuggle!

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RSD Update:  I’m just gonna get this out of the way first.  If you read my post on Monday, you’d know that the weekend was really bad, and Monday was the pinnacle.  I ended up taking 6 or 7 Percoset pills – the most I’ve ever taken in one day.  I went to Physical Therapy yesterday morning feeling like a complete failure.  Hobbling in with my crutch was humiliating.  It was all I could do to not cry.  I have gone so far backwards in my recovery.  And the worst part is that I can only figure it was due to the whole “trying on a shoe” thing.  A normal-every-day-kind of a thing.  So after therapy, I finally decided to call on you, my friends, for a little help from above and asked for prayer on my Facebook status.  I never do that.  Never.  I just feel like this is an issue between me and my family and God.

But I was desperate.

And desperate times call for desperate measures.

And you went to Him on my behalf.

And He listened.

I felt my discouragement lifting and the pain letting up….a little.  But every little bit helps!

So thank you, from the bottom of my heart 😀

Now…on to some yummy sweetness!

White Chocolate Cranberry Cookies

  • 1 c sugar
  • 1 c brown sugar
  • 1 c butter flavored shortening
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tsp almond flavoring
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 2 1/4 c flour
  • 1  c chopped white chocolate (or white chocolate chips)
  • 1 c dried cranberries, chopped

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  In your mixer, cream the sugar, brown sugar, shortening, eggs, and almond flavoring until white and fluffy.  Mix dry ingredients in a medium bowl and add to creamed mixture.  Stir in chopped white chocolate and cranberries.  Place tablespoon-sized scoops on baking sheet and bake for 8-10 minutes.

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These cookies are sooooo yummy!

Polka Dot Cookies

  • 1 pkg instant chocolate pudding mix
  • 1/2 c butter
  • 1/2 c butter flavored shortening
  • 3/4 c sugar
  • 3/4 c brown sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 2 1/4 c flour
  • 3/4 c white chocolate chips
  • 3/4 c semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  In your mixing bowl, cream together chocolate pudding mix, butter, shortening, sugar, and brown sugar.  Add eggs and vanilla.  Mix well.  Add baking soda, salt, and flour.  Mix well again.  Stir in white chocolate chips and semi-sweet chocolate chips.  Scoop out into tablespoon size and place on baking sheets.  Bake for 8-10 minutes.

RSD Update:  It’s been a really, really rough weekend.  My physical therapists have been “encouraging” me to try a closed-toe shoe.  I haven’t worn a regular shoe since April….4 1/2 months.  I also suffer from flat feet, but that’s never really been a big issue to me.  However, the therapists think a closed-toe shoe could offer a lot more support than just sandals.  Soooo, Mike and I headed over to Brown’s Shoe Store, here in Hutch, on Friday afternoon.  They were very helpful and knew exactly what kind of shoe I needed for flat feet…RSD, not so much.  So I also requested a wide width to help accommodate for the RSD.  They picked out New Balance 1012, and it felt pretty good.  Oh, and they also had me try an orthotic insert.  Nice.  At that point, and at the ripe age of 33, I was suddenly feeling very old.  Anyhoooooo, I wore the shoe around for maybe a max of 10 minutes.  The shoe really did feel good on my left foot and I felt like there was support on my right foot…my bad foot, but something was a stinging a little.  When I took the shoe off and the sock off, I realized that the seam on the top of the sock was the stinging culprit.  Nice.  We left the store thinking we’d go back for them later.  However, by the end of Friday evening… my pain had gone from a normal 7 or 8 to a 10+.  And I had to get my crutch back out.  It’s been pretty bad ever since, but esp. bad today.  To the normal symptoms of aching, stabbing, burning, I’m also having stinging, swelling, and spasms.  And despite my oxycodone, I’m just not getting any relief.  It’s insane.  I’ve just never dealt with anything like this before.  All triggered by wearing a tennis shoe.

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Summer Updates

RSD Update: I feel like I’ve slept through most of the Summer because of these crazy pain pills.  BUT I’m already seeing some real improvements, so I shouldn’t be on them for too much longer.  I’m taking less every day.  YEAH!!!  The vitamin D is making feel better all over….emotionally and physically, and my physical therapy is working.  My range of motion is remarkably better and walking with just barely a limp.  I may have RSD, but it’s not going to rule my life!

I spent all last week working on switching the kiddos rooms around.  Actually, we moved Cade into his own room and Reagan in with Clarky.  It was a big, BIG project because I hadn’t gone through any of their clothes in a long time.  I ended up with three trash bags full of clothes for my sister’s girls, one bag for my brother’s lil’ guy, and two bags saved back for Clark.  I can’t believe all that stuff actually fit in their rooms!

Here’s Cade’s new room:

And Reagan & Clarky’s bunk beds:

I can’t believe the school year is about to start…Didn’t the kiddos just get out for the summer?  We’ve made some big decisions concerning school this year.  Reagan will be attending the Community School of Hutchinson…a small Christian school/homeschool co-op.  She will attend school Monday through Friday and then I will homeschool her on Thursday and Fridays.  It’s a decision that we (Mike and I) thought about and prayed about for quite a bit during the last school year.  I love Morgan Elementary.  I love the teachers, the staff, the principle. Every teacher my kiddos have had are good Christian women and they have loved on and taken care of my babies during the school year.  However, I felt like we were losing my little girl.  We’ve never had a bad experience there, and as a matter of fact, Cade will continue there again this year.  We had issues with the influence of the kids, the girls she was around.  It was just things that were completely out the teachers’ controls.  There’s only so much they can do.  So, this is how we came to this decision.  I feel at peace at about it.  I’m really looking forward to spending more one on one time with Reagan.  Since she’s my middle baby, she gets a little lost in the shuffle at times.

Clark will start preschool this year, too.  Community School has a one day a week preschool and Clark is sooooo excited that he’s going to school with his best friend.  He has an evaluation this week concerning his speech, so we’ll find out if he’ll be returning to speech therapy again this fall.  AND he got a haircut this morning (“wike Daddy, pweeeze” he told me):

So with Cade going to Morgan Elementary and Reagan going to Community School and Clark starting preschool and possibly speech therapy…we are in for a full Fall 😀

As far as recipes…I just haven’t been making anything new lately.  Once school starts, we’ll be back on a more regular schedule and I’ll be back to cooking again.  I did make Pizza and No Bakes tonight…yummo!

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I went to see 2 doctors today.  Our family doctor and the podiatrist.  They both gave me the results of the MRI.

I don’t have any fractures.  I don’t have any torn ligaments or muscles.

I have nerve damage.

And here’s the short of the long of it:

I have what is called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy or Complex Regional Pain Syndrome.

I don’t even really know how to describe it except that it’s extensive nerve damage as an indirect result of spraining my toe three months ago.

It’s chronic and there is no cure.

Only pain management.

And insult to injury, this often leads to depression.

NOT what I wanted to hear today.

Uh, hello?!  I already deal with depression!

Needless to say it’s been a rough day…emotionally and physically.

If you want to try to figure it out you can go to this site: RSD/CRPS

For those of you that know Dr. David Paine…this is what he deals with, too.  And he’s already seeing what he can do to help me in this journey.

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